You and Your Spouse Will be Happy in Life Together
I was quite pleased to read this fortune, although it was actually my wife's fortune and not mine. But I imagine it still applies to me or her or both of us for that matter. This fortune though was pleasing for more than the obvious descriptive title. A little backstory will be helpful here. So forgive me while I take a biographical detour:
December 2013, I'm a 40 year-old, never married, single man. Now for the many perpetually eternal bachelors or scorned, forlorn divorcees, such a life would seem to be a good life. But for me, it wasn't. That's not to say I wasn't happy; I actually was quite happy. But I wasn't...complete, one could say; I was left unfulfilled.
Then in August of 2014 I met an amazing woman, and after a long 2 weeks of courting we decided to get married (yes, I said two weeks). Two months later we were married (and, yes, I said two months). I know, that is fast. Lighting quick. As quick as a dog can lick a dish. Go big or go home or something like that.
I guess when right is right, you don't question it, you don't argue - you go with it. Even if it comes so fast and so unexpectedly and in my case, with an instant family of four boys to boot. But at 40 I wasn't a kid anymore. I had "been there, done that". Well maybe not entirely all 'that', but hopefully I had learned a thing or two about life up to that point. Now some have argued and others will argue that we should have waited longer. Got to know each other better. That we should have really studied it out more. But the positive affirmations and sustaining confirmations were loud and frequent. Besides after years and years of bachelorhood, I was ready for this moment. And for that matter, she was too. So we married. Four boys, two cats, a new home and a new city. Bring it on! (I still want a dog though).
Back to the fortune.
Now then, after two months of marriage, what have I learned?
OK, sure, two months isn't very long. Heck most fine cheeses age longer than two months. I don't care. I love my decision. I love the woman I am with and I love loving and learning with her.
But I've learned that simply getting married or being married isn't enough of a guarantee of leading to happiness. If it were, everyone would do it and everyone would be happy. No, as with so many other important events in life, happiness in life, especially when it involves another person, requires an investment of self and time and emotion and spirit and so on and so on. And in this case, investing in each other is required.
I've learned that happiness in marriage means not asking whose turn it is or keeping track as to who got more.
I've learned it means not keeping score.
I've learned how to much one can love another person and in ways I've never loved before, wanted to love before, or even knew was possible.
I've learned that sometimes she needs to be loved even when she is her most unlovable and that somedays I'm not easy to live with or as lovable as I think.
I've learned that we don't have to agree on everything; we celebrate our differences.
I've learned that it's ok to be wrong and being teachable and humble is a blessing.
I've learned that caring for her is a lot more fun than caring only about myself.
I've learned that my way is a good way, but it isn't the only good way.
I've learned that the honeymoon is great, but life after the honeymoon is greater.
I've learned that you can love the things about your spouse that in reality you really don't like.
I've learned that together we are stronger and united we are safe.
I've learned that a strong balance provides harmony and peace.
I've learned that patience is vital; patience with her and with myself.
I've learned that time is more important than things.
I've learned that open communication brings us together.
I've learned there can't be walls but there must be honesty.
I've learned that putting her first doesn't mean I come last.
I've learned that I have a lot more to learn...
And all this is making me happy in life with my spouse. . . even if it's only been two months. I've got this marriage thing all figured out.
