Fortune Cookie #11 - A Thrilling Time is in Store for You

A Thrilling Time is in Store for You

Well I would certainly hope so. I've been waiting long enough. Thanks!

But how will I know if and when this Thrilling Time has arrived? Maybe it's already happened?

I have learned during my earthly sojourn that happiness, aka "A Thrilling Time" is really a matter of individual personal perception. What I mean by that is, what one considers to be a terrible time, to another this terrible time is the time of their life...a Thrilling Time.

Take skydiving.

Sure someone's 1st time skydiving most certainly would qualify as Thrilling. Or a Thrilling Time. Possibly terrifying too of course. Whereas a skydive instructor, with thousands of drops under their belt, may no longer find the same enthusiasm in the next jump like they did their first. Thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies are often in a state of looking to up the intensity of their adventures to create a new thrill. But the thrill of the jump continues to exist or they would cease to jump.

Most would argue that going to church services, sitting through school classes, or getting a root canal at the dentist doesn't exactly possess the potential characteristics of a Thrilling Time. But I feel strongly that thrilling times can be or are created out of mundane, routine, even everyday pedestrian events. Again, perception plays a role here. My 2nd oldest embodies this ideal. He often exhibits that rare, and somewhat peculiar personality, that can turn Any Time into a Thrilling Time. In the process he tends to attract those same like personalities who also make any event a party. Equally so, he also attracts a following; those who want to be around him. These are a rare breed.

What then are the components that create a Thrilling Time?

Just one really...

By definition, Thrilling means causing excitement and pleasure; exhilarating. How often has an event taken your breath away? When was the last time an awesome sunset had that affect? Or describe the sensation you felt standing at the base of a majestic mountain? For many, these events would certainly qualify as a Thrilling Time. For others, they still may need that element of speed or risk of death. And yet, regardless the actual events, one component of a Thrilling Time remains a constant: the Individual.

Taking this concept to another level, do we let a Thrilling Time come to us or do we, again much like my 2nd oldest, make each day, each encounter, each adventure...Thrilling? Do we add spice to a boring stew? If we're constantly living with the hope that times will be Thrilling, odds are we will live and die feeling unfulfilled, perpetually wondering what we missed out on. Do we log into social media sites only to bemoan the joys, adventures, and successes of others? Are we letting Thrilling Times pass us by? Are we placing ourselves in a position to recognize Thrilling Times? Do we make life Thrilling?

Imagine if we literally relied on the hope of a fortune cookie fortune to bring us...well anything.

One of my favorite movie quotes comes from Leonardo DiCaprio's fictionally based character Jack Dawson in the epic romance and disaster movie Titanic. Jack, despite his 3rd class passenger status, has been invited to eat dinner with some of the high-minded, noble elite of the day traveling on the majestic Titanic's maiden voyage. Some at the table are intrigued by his exploits and proceed to question his most recent adventure aboard the doomed ship. In response to their inquiry, he replies:

“...I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count.” 

I suppose therein lies one of the great lessons in life..."to make each day count." In so doing we aren't living from one Thrilling Time to another. Rather, LIFE itself becomes that Thrilling Time. And shouldn't that really be the case?!

Fortune Cookie #10 - You are Wise to Keep Your Eyes Open at all Times

You are Wise to Keep Your Eyes Open at all Times

This fortune's message almost comes off as a threat. It is similar to, but not exactly like, "You'd better watch out, or else," or "You'd better watch your back!" or "I'd sleep with one eye open." But I'm fairly sure that isn't what the fortune cookie is really trying to say. Or is it?

Phrased as the fortune most likely is intended it to read, it actually comes across like some generic, benign, and obvious advice, which most of us most likely already follow (outside of sleep time that is). If you are like me (hopefully you aren't) you don't tend to do a lot of sustained, continuous staring without blinking.

And yet, oddly, how many are constantly staring at their cell phones and not really paying attention to what is right in front of their faces? How much life has been missed as we live with our cell phones? Has our relationships with our devices surpassed the relationships with our families and friends?

This is not a diatribe against cell phones or cell phone users, but according to a 2014 statistic:

There are almost as many cell-phone subscriptions (6.8 billion) as there are people on this earth (seven billion)—and it took a little more than 20 years for that to happen. In 2013, there were some 96 cell-phone service subscriptions for every 100 people in the world.

Walk into any doctor's office waiting room and what do you see? People on their cell phones. Spend any time on a college campus. Class out, phones out. Standing in line? Count how long until you find yourself reaching for your phone. Heck, even public bathrooms are no longer safe. Oh I get it. I'm guilty too. It is a convenient way to pass the time. But too often this convenient time spender is spilling into our home lives and work lives.

And what happens when our phones struggle to work?

There is so much to be seen, and amazingly these sights and events can be and should be seen in person. They should be best remembered in pictures, taken with a cell phone of course.

Fortune Cookie #9 - You and Your Spouse Will be Happy in Life Together

You and Your Spouse Will be Happy in Life Together

I was quite pleased to read this fortune, although it was actually my wife's fortune and not mine. But I imagine it still applies to me or her or both of us for that matter. This fortune though was pleasing for more than the obvious descriptive title. A little backstory will be helpful here. So forgive me while I take a biographical detour:

December 2013, I'm a 40 year-old, never married, single man. Now for the many perpetually eternal bachelors or scorned, forlorn divorcees, such a life would seem to be a good life. But for me, it wasn't. That's not to say I wasn't happy; I actually was quite happy. But I wasn't...complete, one could say; I was left unfulfilled.

Then in August of 2014 I met an amazing woman, and after a long 2 weeks of courting we decided to get married (yes, I said two weeks). Two months later we were married (and, yes, I said two months). I know, that is fast. Lighting quick. As quick as a dog can lick a dish. Go big or go home or something like that.

I guess when right is right, you don't question it, you don't argue - you go with it. Even if it comes so fast and so unexpectedly and in my case, with an instant family of four boys to boot. But at 40 I wasn't a kid anymore. I had "been there, done that". Well maybe not entirely all 'that', but hopefully I had learned a thing or two about life up to that point. Now some have argued and others will argue that we should have waited longer. Got to know each other better. That we should have really studied it out more. But the positive affirmations and sustaining confirmations were loud and frequent. Besides after years and years of bachelorhood, I was ready for this moment. And for that matter, she was too. So we married. Four boys, two cats, a new home and a new city. Bring it on! (I still want a dog though).

Back to the fortune.

Now then, after two months of marriage, what have I learned?

OK, sure, two months isn't very long. Heck most fine cheeses age longer than two months. I don't care. I love my decision. I love the woman I am with and I love loving and learning with her.

But I've learned that simply getting married or being married isn't enough of a guarantee of leading to happiness. If it were, everyone would do it and everyone would be happy. No, as with so many other important events in life, happiness in life, especially when it involves another person, requires an investment of self and time and emotion and spirit and so on and so on. And in this case, investing in each other is required.

I've learned that happiness in marriage means not asking whose turn it is or keeping track as to who got more.

I've learned it means not keeping score.

I've learned how to much one can love another person and in ways I've never loved before, wanted to love before, or even knew was possible.

I've learned that sometimes she needs to be loved even when she is her most unlovable and that somedays I'm not easy to live with or as lovable as I think.

I've learned that we don't have to agree on everything; we celebrate our differences.

I've learned that it's ok to be wrong and being teachable and humble is a blessing.

I've learned that caring for her is a lot more fun than caring only about myself.

I've learned that my way is a good way, but it isn't the only good way.

I've learned that the honeymoon is great, but life after the honeymoon is greater.

I've learned that you can love the things about your spouse that in reality you really don't like.

I've learned that together we are stronger and united we are safe.

I've learned that a  strong balance provides harmony and peace.

I've learned that patience is vital; patience with her and with myself.

I've learned that time is more important than things.

I've learned that open communication brings us together.

I've learned there can't be walls but there must be honesty.

I've learned that putting her first doesn't mean I come last.

I've learned that I have a lot more to learn...

And all this is making me happy in life with my spouse. . . even if it's only been two months. I've got this marriage thing all figured out.

Fortune Cookie No. 8 - Happiness is Around the Next Corner, Wealth Down the Street

Happiness is Around the Next Corner, Wealth Down the Street

Booyah! Here comes the money! Wealth, riches, maybe a little fortune and fame. Read it and weep losers! The money train has arrived!

Whoa, wait a second! I just realized something, something that required a re-read of my fortune. It mentions Happiness and Wealth, but it never actually defines either noun as meaning a monetary increase. Ah crap. Now what?

Sounds like I better keep my day job...

I do find it interesting that Happiness is listed first in this fortune. . .before wealth. From an eternal perspective, maybe it rightfully should be so too.

Ultimately this is not to be a study whether money can buy happiness. There are sound, well thought out arguments for and against this the idea. I'd rather propose the notion that investing personal time and talents in people and experiences yields the greatest Happiness and Wealth.

Consider...

Which is easier to obtain, Happiness or Wealth? And which should be the most rewarding? I suppose Wealth is subjective and Happiness a matter of perspective, desire, and choice (more on that later). But to continue with the money = happiness parallel, suppose I offered you a crisp $100 bill. No strings attached. No stipulations. You can spend it, save it, give it away. You can do whatever you want with it. I would ask, would the free $100 bill (Wealth increase) make you Happy (a potential emotional increase)? Or would you choose to be Happy because you now possess the $100 bill (Wealth increase)?

Another way to view this dichotomy: is one Happy because they have Wealth? And were they lacking happiness prior to their wealth? And once they've attained some level of Wealth, are they now happy? How does one know when they've attained a Wealth that equals Happiness? If one has to work for their Wealth, are they more likely to appreciate AND enjoy their Wealth?

But what if in order to obtain Wealth, one has to sacrifice the Happiness originating from carefully established and developed social relationship that aren't dependent upon monetary wealth? What if one neglects what truly matters for what they think matters?

Earlier I mentioned that Happiness is a matter of perspective, desire, and choice. Combined, I'm a firm believer that one chooses Happiness as their desire and perspective match. And while it may not be that simple and certain circumstances complicate this ideal, it nevertheless can be developed over time. And the residual effects of this development compliments an active life and ultimately benefits those associated with the individual. Again, is it simple? No. But is it possible to choose Happiness and be Happy? Absolutely.

In the end, I'm pretty sure when the fortune mentions Happiness and Wealth neither are referencing money or financial Wealth, but instead it allows the receiver of the fortune to determine what Happiness and Wealth really are in their life. So whether or not one can or can't buy Happiness, maybe for some, an investment of Time in people and on experiences yields the greatest Happiness and Wealth.

Fortune Cookie No. 7 - You Enjoy Playing to a Crowd

You Enjoy Playing to a Crowd

No, I really don't enjoy playing to a crowd. In fact I've never really wanted to either and I doubt I ever will. Of course I don't enjoy sitting on the sidelines watching others succeed and live life either. But what an unusual fortune. Is this more of an issued challenge or a blatant lie? This is not to say that we should avoid the limelight, the attention, and the crowds. Or that those who love such settings are doing things just for show. It almost reads as if the team that wrote this fortune cookie fortune was desperate for a new fortune:

"Alright team, I've got nothing. I am plum out of good ideas and I think our consumers are catching on. People don't really believe these things, do they?"

"I don't know. We've packaged and repackaged the same fortunes over and over. I guess we can do it again."

"But won't people catch on that these aren't really "fortunes".

"I doubt anyone really reads that much into them anyhow."

Now then I do strive for greatness. I would hope everyone does too. And some actions do need to be seen and shown. Hard to be an actor without a stage or camera. But can't one be great without being in the spotlight or doing things for others to see? Does every good deed need to be known? Certainly there are some not so good deeds best left unknown.

For this fortune reading I've chosen a different direction. My mantra for this posting is to live for something great! Challenge yourself to be great, but challenge yourself to be something greater than yourself. Be a part of something great. Contribute to something great. Expect great things. But do it without the attention, glory, and honors.

I love this quote by John Wooden, the revered former men's basketball coach at UCLA: "The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching." In regards to this post, I read it as saying, "Whatever you do privately, in many ways, you should be willing to do them publicly." (And yes, I'm aware that as a coach of a major university, much of what he did was on a major stage - humor me).

While you don't have to play to a crowd, avoid the shadows and safety of the sidelines. It may require a certain amount of vulnerability and risk, but great deeds done in private will ultimately yield great reward.

Fortune Cookie No. 6 - You Will Touch the Hearts of Many

You Will Touch the Hearts of Many . . . maybe if I'm a cardiologist or a coroner. I'm fairly confident however, the latter profession is definitely not what the fortune is referring too. Then again, I highly doubt the former profession is either.

How then does one Touch the Hearts of Many? 

Now you can tug at one's heartstrings. Anatomically speaking, this can refer to the Chordae Tendineae which, 

"are tendons linking the papillary muscles to the tricuspid valve in the right ventricle and the mitral valve in the left ventricle. As the papillary muscles contract and relax, the chordae tendineae transmit the resulting increase and decrease in tension to the respective valves, causing them to open and close. The structurally string-like appearance of the chordae tendineae has led to their being called "heart strings."

But of course, damage to these tendons should be limited to those with years of training and expertise.

News reporting and movies often invest great effort, time, and money to present a story that will tug on one's heartstrings. Through literary imagery and emotion inducing orchestrations, Hollywood produces movies that induce emotional expressions of happiness and joy and tears and sorrow. Manipulative or not, the results are often genuine and real to the viewer.

All that said, touching anyone's heart starts with caring for someone or many someones, beyond the obvious "how are you?" It involves investing a portion of yourself in others, especially when it's not convenient to do so. It requires having embracing a passion for lifting the downtrodden and bringing joy into a world where negativity and depravity often scream loudest. In essence I think it really means loving someone even when they make it hard to be loved - loving the unlovable. Touching the hearts of many, or even one, should be a positive and permanent experience.

I guess then a cardiac surgeon can both emotionally touch your heart and literally pull your heart strings. 

Fortune Cookie No. 5 - You Will Take a Pleasant Journey to a Place Far Away

You Will Take a Pleasant Journey to a Place Far Away

OK, this fortune is much better than the last one. And I realize now that my complaints directed at my previous fortune were a bit harsh. Apologies extended. That said, I'm looking forward to this one coming to fruition.

Now then let's break down this fortune:

First, what makes a pleasant journey pleasant? Some journeys don't begin as planned, intended vacations. In fact, where all vacations can be journeys, not all journeys are vacations. Some journeys and some vacations just happen spontaneously and can be the most memorable. While other trips are scheduled and organized, intended by all accounts to be pleasant trips, but take on a life of their own as nothing goes according to plan. While still "enjoyable", these journeys can be memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Do we need to have a destination in mind before we undertake our journey? Or should spontaneity be our guide? Some of the greatest journeys were those where the intended became an afterthought.

Is this journey a pre-planned, anticipated/expected journey or is it a prize winning, all expenses paid trip? I mean if I receive the fortune after I've planned my journey, does the fortune still apply? In other words is the fortune referring to this upcoming journey or is an additional, unexpected journey still in my future? In my opinion, a fortune isn't much of a fortune if it predicts something already in the works. Now it might lend validity to my decision in taking a journey (which at present, I haven't). And to really blow your mind, what if, while on my journey, I receive the fortune?

Does it matter much if the journey is work related or for pleasure? Knowing the answer to this question doesn't concern me as much as the other inquiries. And to honest, they don't worry me much either. But are there enjoyable business journeys?

Also, what qualifies as far away? Far away might mean something different if you travel globally for business. Of course far away might be a trip to a neighboring city if you are a parent to a two year old. And the duration of the trip and the difficulty in getting to your destination can also factor in as to what one considers far away.

Finally and possibly most important, do I get to select those who will accompany me on my journey or is this excursion a solo adventure? Often the only reason the journey is pleasant is because of the company you take. Of course a backseat of stinky, crying, tired kids can alter the journey's enjoyment. The upside to a solo journey is your time is your time. You can go where you want and stay as long as you desire. You are only limited by your finances and adventurous spirit.

As is typical with my fortune writings (ramblings), I'm sure I'm over thinking this hopefully imminent journey.

So with that, spontaneity take over. Where we going today?

PS-This entry is a bit rough. I have a cold and I'm tired of writing it. I need a vacation.